I have never thought about it in this context
that’s actually really, really creepy.
I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages.
There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.
I love you, but I’m mad at you is one of the most freeing, important things you can say in a stable relationship. Does that make sense? To know that you have the ability and the right to be mad at someone and know that it doesn’t mean things are over, that it doesn’t mean things are irreparable. That it just means I’m mad, but God, I love you. I love you. Now leave me alone.
Dr. Seuss was not even in the general area of fucking around.
#everyone thinks of dr seuss as some sweet old guy who wrote kids books and made up cute words#little do they know he was the most hardcore political motherfucker to ever draw cartoons for newspapers of all time basically#he was of german and jewish descent and got bullied a lot as a kid#then he grew up and drew cartoons for the school paper#and when he got fired for being to fucking real for the paper to handle he made up a new name and KEPT SUBMITTING THEM ANYWAY#BECAUSE HE NEVER FUCKED AROUND FOR A SECOND#DID YOU KNOW DR SEUSS DID A FEATURE LENGTH DOCUMENTARY AFTER WWII ABOUT HOW WWII WASN’T ACTUALLY OVER AND THE NAZIS WERE STILL ALL AROUND#IT WAS CREEPY AS ALL FUCK AND MORE HARDCORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW#IT WON A FUCKING OSCAR OR SOME SHIT#HE DID KIDS BOOKS ON A WHIM HIS REAL TALENT WAS DISMANTLING FASCIST REGIMES WITH ADORABLE BLACK AND WHITE SKETCHES OF TURTLES#OH YEAH AND YURTLE THE TURTLE WAS ABOUT HITLER#AND THE SNEECHES WERE ABOUT SEGREGATION#SO FUCK Y’ALL AND YOUR CANDY-ASS VISION OF DR SEUSS
I think almost all of his stories have a deeper meaning and Horton Hears a who was written as an apology to the Japanese after WWII
|Me:||So, let's say that you're at school and you see a guy you know. I mean, you guys talk every once in a while and he's pretty cool, but you're not like friends or anything. You just talk to him every once in a while.|
|Guy Friend:||What's his name?|
|Me:||I don't know. Frank?|
|Me:||Okay, fine. His name is Will. Okay?|
|Guy Friend:||I don't think it really suits him, but okay.|
|Me:||...So anyway, you're at school during lunchtime and you see Will. So, you notice Will's not eating anything. That's when you realize that Will has no lunch, no money for lunch, and no way of getting either. He's just sitting there like he normally would. He's not acting any differently and he's not asking anyone for anything. Not money, not a fry, not even a salt packet, but you know he's gotta be hungry. So, what do you do?|
|Guy Friend:||Do I have any money?|
|Me:||Yeah. You have enough for you and another meal.|
|Guy Friend:||Duh, I buy him lunch.|
|Me:||Okay, cool. So, like you said, you buy him lunch. You buy your lunch and you buy his lunch and you go over and hand it to him. And, he says, "Wow. You know, that's really nice of you, but I wasn't gonna ask anyone for lunch. I was probably just gonna wait until I got home to eat." And, then you say--|
|Guy Friend:||Nah, it's cool.|
|Me:||Exactly. You say, "Nah, it's cool. I'm just being nice. It's a gift." And, Will says, "You know, that's awesome. You're really nice, bro." And, after that, you guys start hanging out. You guys are like really good buds. You are always hanging out and laughing and just having a good time. So, you guys are friends for a few months, and it's tons of fun. Then, one day, you go up to Will and you say, "Hey, Will, you know, I've been thinking, and I kinda want that five bucks."|
|Guy Friend:||What five bucks?|
|Me:||Hold on. I'm getting there. So, Will says, "What five bucks?" To which, you reply, "Well, we've been hanging out for a long time and it's been really fun, but like, I've done a lot of really nice things for you. Like, I'm always nice to you and I always listen and do things you wanna do, so I was thinking that because I've been so nice, you should pay me back that five bucks I spent to get your lunch right before we started really hanging out."|
|Guy Friend:||What? Why would I--|
|Me:||I'm not done yet. So, then Will looks kinda hurt and he says, "But I thought you were just being nice. I thought that was just a gift." So, you say, "Whether or not it was a gift, don't you think you kinda owe me that five bucks since I've been so nice to you?" And, Will says, "No. I don't think I owe you that!" And you get mad, so you say, "Well, I think that you do, so I think you're being really shitty and stuck up about this and I feel like I've been completely wronged."|
|Guy Friend:||Oh, my God. That's so fucked up of me. I would never do that to Will. Will was nice. We were buds. That's way screwed.|
|Me:||I know, right? Hey, just wondering, have you ever heard of this fictional place called "The Friendzone?"|
|Guy Friend:||Well, yeah, but...|
“On a traffic light green means ‘go’ and yellow means ‘yield’, but on a banana it’s just the opposite. Green means ‘hold on,’ yellow means ‘go ahead,’ and red means, ‘where the hell did you get that banana at?’” —Mitch Hedberg
Today, Jessica reminds us to breathe.